Friday, June 10, 2016

12 Years - Through A Window



It's been a crazy week... crazy month... heck, even a crazy year.  So many changes.  Hayden passed in April, and I'm still trying to figure out what that means.  Kids married and on missions and my second year just finished in a new school.  This year I've sold a truck (for a $7000 loss), finally finished (for the second time in a year) my basement that was flooded last July, and have had legal issues with the divorce decree.  There's been a lot of good too.  Brenden married Ashlee last July, I'm six months into a pretty cool relationship, and I have some pretty amazing friends, kids and people in my life.

But now... it's time.
Time for NEW.
Time for FRESH START.

12 years is a long time.  I've never lived in a place for this long during any part of my life until now.  This little house in Lehi has seen its fair share of just about everything.  Kids, laughing, dancing, singing, fights, late nights, early mornings, winters, snow, summers, gardens, pets, cooking, sewing, sticky floors, vacations, new hardwood...

Right now I'm mentally already in the new house... and coming back to the Lehi home to work on packing or repairs feels like a lot of work.  I don't want to work on a yard that I won't benefit from... so I spend my yard work time in Herriman.  But yesterday, after having mowed the yard, Ed said "That might be the last time you have to mow this place"... and then it hit me.  I'm leaving.  I'm leaving this place that I fell in love with in 2004 when I saw the hardwood, the kitchen and the garden spot.  I'm leaving this place that has been painted so many times with OOPS paint from Home Depot.  I'm leaving the only home that Aspen has known for the past 9 years.  The home that saw me start and end a relationship, raise and send off kids, plant and tend to flowers.

I stood in the shower yesterday, looking out into the yard as I've done a thousand times.  I've done it in all kinds of weather... snow, rain, heat, and falling leaves.  I've watched the yard and tree and trampoline through that window.  Taken in the smells of the day through that window.  Watched Aspen jump on the tramp while I showered.  12 years... through a window.  I'm going to miss that window... and life through it.  (not the trailer park I get to look at through the window however :)

There will be a series of LASTS... last mowing, last dinner in the house, last time sleeping there.  I just want to make sure I TRULY appreciate them while they are here... because very soon, I'll look back and long for them.  I've put a lot of love and heart into this little place.  I'm just hoping someone after me enjoys some of the same things I've left behind... and appreciates the little pieces of my heart that this house will always have.

2 comments:

Julie L said...

I can't tell you how much I love this post. We take a lot for granted. Don't you dare look back and long to be in this place again. Move forward with joy and excitement for the new life you're going to greet. Just miss some of us neighbors and friends a little, ok? Because we're sure going to miss you!

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