A little turkey... A lot of chaos...

Wow, what a crazy whirlwind, emotional all over the place weekend.  Friday morning was spent preparing what I could for our little family dinner.  Wade was not going to be here for the big event on Thanksgiving day, so we had to make our own version of it before he left.  It was cozy, fun and over too quickly.  Morgan and Greyson made it down, and Brenden's girlfriend Ashley joined us as well.

The chaos part of the weekend hadn't even gotten started yet.  Soon after dinner I had an emotional (again) interaction with my dad that left me in tears, and him hanging up on me on the phone.  Oh that he could ever get over the past choices of my life that apparently haunt him so much.

Saturday morning I had to get in a run while everyone got ready for family pictures at 9am.  I blow dried sweaty running hair for pictures and we headed out the door, hoping to beat the big storm that was blowing in.  We arrived at our location, but our photographer did not.  I texted and called her and her husband, and then checked my messages.  I had made plans with her for the following Saturday, not the Saturday that we were all sitting in the car ready for.  So I decided to come up with plan B.  I found a photographer already out taking pictures of another family, and asked her to take ours.  She did, until we got rained out... but the pictures so far are ones that I am in love with.  Lucky break on our part.  While all of this was happening, my brothers were back at the house putting in 2 basement windows and setting the shower base in the downstairs bathroom for me.  When we got back from pictures, they left for the BYU football game, and left me with 3 extra kiddos.  Needless to say, mentally I was a mess.  My house was a mess, I had noise everywhere and no personal space.  I was still anxious from my phone call the previous night as well.  By the time my brothers' returned, I was SO ready to get out of the house.  Clay and I ran to Costco to do some shopping, and some decompressing.   By Saturday night, everyone had gone their own way, including my kids (with the exception of Aspen).

Sunday morning was a mad dash to Tremonton for Wade's farewell.  After picking up Morgan and Greyson, we were hoping to make it to the church soon enough to not embarrass ourselves.  Thankfully, Kara had saved us a couple spots, and we snuck in seamlessly with five minutes to spare before the meeting began.  After hanging out at Ken and Julie's house for some soup, Morgan and I got our last selfies with Wade before taking off for home.  Hard to believe I'm losing my kiddo for 2 years.  Still not totally seeming real yet.

By Sunday night, I was beat.  It was 6 o'clock and I was ready for bed.  But wait... NO!  Bedtime was not to happen for awhile afterwards.  Connor Stewart, a student of mine from 2 years ago, needed some math help, so I stayed up to try to remember stuff long forgotten.  It's amazing how much you can remember once you pull up a few reminders on Google :)

All in all, it was a crazy, emotional, all over the place weekend... one which I am glad is over, but wouldn't have traded for the world.  I sure do love my kiddos!

A car, a torch, a death (for 2 years anyway)

I have 10 days.  10 days until half of my heart goes across the country and to Mexico then on to Honduras for 2 years.  10 days to get as much alternative Indie music as I possibly can added to playlists to survive on while he is gone.  10 days until a small melt-down ensues.  

10 days.

It hurts to think about not having him around.  We've been through hikes and concerts and sad times and great times together.  We have cooked together more than I can even count and had some great discussions. 

I love this boy.  My toe-headed 3 year old that once existed has turned into a 6'1" tall handsome young man.  I'm so proud of him and what he has done with his life thus far.  He has been working on his culinary arts certificate and will have it done early, before he leaves the day before Thanksgiving.  He graduated in May and had played tennis and ran cross country.  He has been loving, open minded and a good listener to my times of stress and anxiety.  He has been my source of off the radar music, and I'm not sure I'm able to pick up the slack while he is away... but I'll try.  His playlist might be endlessly long when he gets back, but I'll try to do his job while he is away doing his.

10 days.

And when I lay down and go to sleep tonight, it will be 9 when I wake.I wonder... if I just don't sleep, does that keep it from happening?

Remember that when I packed your bag, I reached in and buckled up my heart... for you to go away with.  I love you Steven Wade.  Love you to the moon and back.

Begin Again...

I pulled out my blog books this past week, and started reading.  It was a fun read, a trip down memory lane, and a call to repentance.  So much has happened since I last posted that I feel that it is "lost" somewhere because it wasn't written down.  I've had a missionary come home and another ready to go out.  I've had a change in my job and school district, and I love so many parts of this change.  Our home life has changed, and Brenden is now living with Aspen and I at our same home in Lehi we've been in for ten years.  We lost two of our favorite animals this past year.  Toby had to be put down before last winter because of her arthritis and ability to walk.  Fred, our pekingese dog, had a cancer growth on her ear that got out of control and he had to be put down too.  This about broke poor Aspen's heart.  The week before we put Fred down, Aspen's dad brought home a boxer dog.  We named her Izzy, and she has been the best fit for us.  She runs with me every time I go (one time for an entire 10 miles), she plays with Aspen, and sleeps inside with us (when she gets lucky, she gets on the bed to sleep... but this usually means I don't get to sleep).

Anyway... lots of life changes.
Lots... and lots.
TONS, actually.

I'll be updating with changes as they come... and some of those that have already taken place.  I look forward to being able to print MORE books and be able to read them years down the road.

It's nice to be back.