I have 10 days. 10 days until half of my heart goes across the country and to Mexico then on to Honduras for 2 years. 10 days to get as much alternative Indie music as I possibly can added to playlists to survive on while he is gone. 10 days until a small melt-down ensues.
It hurts to think about not having him around. We've been through hikes and concerts and sad times and great times together. We have cooked together more than I can even count and had some great discussions.
I love this boy. My toe-headed 3 year old that once existed has turned into a 6'1" tall handsome young man. I'm so proud of him and what he has done with his life thus far. He has been working on his culinary arts certificate and will have it done early, before he leaves the day before Thanksgiving. He graduated in May and had played tennis and ran cross country. He has been loving, open minded and a good listener to my times of stress and anxiety. He has been my source of off the radar music, and I'm not sure I'm able to pick up the slack while he is away... but I'll try. His playlist might be endlessly long when he gets back, but I'll try to do his job while he is away doing his.
And when I lay down and go to sleep tonight, it will be 9 when I wake.I wonder... if I just don't sleep, does that keep it from happening?
Remember that when I packed your bag, I reached in and buckled up my heart... for you to go away with. I love you Steven Wade. Love you to the moon and back.