Wednesday, October 21, 2009

unfulfilled expectations


The long awaited day finally arrived. State cross country. After watching warm ups and anxiously awaiting the starting gun, the race began. Brenden's goal for the race was top 10 at state. At the first mile, he was #9, at mile 2 he was #13. But something was wrong. Dreadfully wrong. He was pale, and looked like he was at the last leg of a 15 mile run. Dragging himself along. I went toward the finish line to see how things would play out. Runner #1 came through... #2... #8, 9, 10... #20??? Where was he?? After a few moments, I saw his yellow shoes coming, and started taking pictures. Then I stopped. He was in bad shape. He looked white. He was running in slow motion, wobbling from side to side, and looking totally disoriented. He would slow down, stop, then start moving in slow motion again. I RAN to the finish line, and for the next 20 minutes helped try to get him to back to normal. After he came around, he said he didn't even remember the last 1/2 mile of the race, and doesn't remember finishing the race at all. He was taken to a clinic and looked over. Still not sure exactly what happened. Nerves? The fact that he had eaten only a bowl of oatmeal at 8am and didn't run until 2pm. The "running your heart out" part, that happens with state tournament. Whatever it was/is, I have never been more frightened as a parent than I was today. I was sad about his race. Sad for the expectations he felt others had for him, as well as his own expectations. He's ready to be done with races for awhile. Ready to think about other things. I'm just glad he's ok. Relieved. Grateful. Elated. Thankful for my in-laws who looked after Wade and Aspen when I had to run help play medic. Until next year. Or at least until he has forgotten the pain of the day...

update: he had an ekg to check for a possible heart condition. We have to have an ultrasound done later to check. After watching the video of his finish yesterday, I'm grateful he is alive and ok today.
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3 comments:

LaurieJ said...

Scary! I can't imagine what it felt like watching him come in...

Hopefully he takes some good time off and relaxes. You too!

Mom L said...

Oh, I'm so glad he's ok! I can't imagine how frightening that was for you!

kimg said...

That is so scary. Sure glad he's alright.

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